The perks of traveling with children...

Some of you might ask yourselves why we have this lasting desire to see the world and live on the road, especially now that we have children. The truth is, the reasons are hard to explain. There are words in a language and there are experiences, and sometimes all the words in the world cannot express the feeling you get in certain situations. You simply have to experience it for yourself in order to understand.

I have a couple of friends who've left our hometown to travel and see the world - back before I went on my first trip - and both of them returned with a strong desire to leave again. Once that travel-bug gets a hold of you, you simply can't get rid of it. One of my friends came back home after a few months, and all she talked about was how home simply didn't feel like home anymore. She wasn't satisfied with the life she had before and she didn't think she'd be able to stay very long. I was devastated. I wanted my friend where she belonged; at home with me. I'd missed her terribly, and I couldn't help but feel a little hurt that she obviously hadn't missed me as much and that she was already thinking about leaving me again. I simply didn't understand. She's been living in New Zealand for almost 10 years now and I believe she's happier there than she could've ever been in our hometown. There's always people out there that haven't experienced the life on the road, and they can't understand why you would want to leave the safe haven home provides. I'm ashamed to say that I was one of those people, who tried talking her out of leaving again and I'm glad she didn't listen. 

When my friend left and never returned, I wanted to know what it was about the road that called everyone who'd left for a longer trip back for more. I always had this strong desire to see Australia. Don't ask me why because I can't answer that question. All I can tell you is that I simply had the feeling I needed to go and see this gorgeous country for myself, and I knew that a two week holiday just wouldn't cut it. It was like something was pulling me towards it and I'm glad I listened to whatever it was that was calling me. The first couple of weeks were terrifying. I felt like I had made some horrible mistake. I missed home, I was scared and alone and I didn't know what the heck I was doing. But then everything changed. I met people, I saw places, I got swept up in this amazing other world I didn't even know existed, and I loved every second of it. I never wanted it to end, and when I got back home after a full year of adventure and joy, I finally understood. 

 

I didn't want to be back home. I had changed, the people I had left behind hadn't. I know it sounds arrogant but it's not meant that way. It's not meant to belittle the people I had left behind, it's just that you've lived a full year of incredible experiences, met people from all over the world - which definitely opened my eyes to a lot of different cultures - and the people I had left behind had done the same thing they'd always done. They'd gone to their 9-5 jobs every day and got together with friends on the weekends. You show them pictures of the places you've been to and tell them stories of your adventures, but they will never really understand what you were feeling while you were living this life. You cannot explain the travel life to somebody who hasn't done it. I told them that I was going to leave again. Not only because I needed to keep traveling, but because I had met the love of my life, and I was going to do everything in my power to make this relationship work. A lot of people tried talking me out of leaving, and I now understand where they were coming from. I'd been there myself. 

I felt guilty for feeling this way. I wished being at home with my family and friends could've been enough, especially for my parent's sake. Now that I have children myself, I can only begin to imagine what they were going through when I proudly announced I was going on a one year backpacking trip - by myself - to the other side of the world. They must've been terrified. And then they finally had their child back, safe and sound where they thought I belonged, and I was grumpy and depressed and all I wanted was to leave again. I'm sure it was hard for them to accept that I simply didn't belong in their world anymore, and that I couldn't fight this feeling and to tell you the truth, I didn't want to. But despite all the guilt and the fear and despite all the sacrifices I had to make to embrace this other part of myself, I can tell you without a single doubt that it was all worth it. There is nothing better and more fulfilling than being on the road, and that's why I want to share it with the people I love the most. My precious babies. 

If we were to announce tomorrow that we've decided to sell or rent out our house, move into our bus and leave, I know what most people would say. "Are you sure that's the right thing for your children? Don't you think it's a bit selfish and irresponsible to live a life that's unpredictable at best? What if something goes wrong?" Well, you know what? If it doesn't work out, all we have to do is come back home. But in my mind there is a lot more pros than cons when it comes to living the gypsy-life with your family. And after an intro, that has somehow gotten waaaaay longer than intended; I'll finally tell you what those are. 

• Some might say that children should go to Kindergarten and school as early as possible, because it's good for them to socialize and good for their education, and they won't get that while traveling or being home-schooled. I have to disagree. There is nothing more social than traveling. I was on the road quite a bit over the last few years and I was never alone. There were also a lot of children traveling with their parents, so making friends wouldn't be a problem for the kids. Children are social creatures. They'll find a playmate anywhere. As for the educational part. What could possibly be more educational than experiencing things first hand? Geography? Instead of staring at a map and looking at countries, you're actually there, seeing and experiencing them for yourself. History? Instead of talking about the Colosseum or the Statue of Liberty, you can simply go and see them. Long-term travel is different than going on an all-inclusive club holiday, where all you get to see is the inside of a resort and beaches. You're not pressed for time and you can make your travels educational. In my book, life experiences are a lot more important than anything you can learn from a book. Not to mention the different languages they'll hear and absorb, because they're just little sponges at this age. Or the different cultures and people they get to learn about and meet.

• Collect memories not things. If you're on the road, living in a small space you'll learn to let go of stuff. It's amazing the things you collect and store in all nooks and crannies of your house when you've got the space. But are you actually using all those things? Do you really need them? I'm going to go ahead and say that 90% of the things sitting on your shelves are simply collecting dust. Children don't need a room full of toys. I had plenty of toys when I was a child and looking back now, I vividly remember not really playing with any of them. I thought I needed to have them, and if my mother told me I should get rid of some, I'd start crying hysterically. But did I really use them? No, I didn't. What I do remember, is running around in the woods, building forts and playing outdoors a lot. And that is exactly what kids should be doing. My kids have plenty of toys and every day I look at them and think, I should just throw them all out and be done with it. Because my children are rarely ever actually playing with them. They like to pull them out, throw them around and make a huge mess, but they're not using them the proper way. Why? Because they're bored of them. A new toy is only exciting for about ten minutes before it becomes just one more thing that's sitting in the corner, taking up space. 

• Learning about other cultures will turn them into tolerant and open-minded people and help them to learn acceptance. If you don't know something, you'll go by whatever you hear on TV, or by whatever people around you tell you. Then one day you go out and you actually see what it's really like, and all of a sudden it dawns on you. What you heard is not true at all. It's called being hung up on prejudices and until you meet different people, learn about and live in different countries - surrounded by their culture - you're not going to know if whatever the neighbour told you is true. Maybe the neighbour is a racist A-hole (pardon the language) and I want to teach my kids different values. I want them to meet different people, live in different countries and decide for themselves - based on experiences - what these people are really like. It might surprise some of you that no matter where you go, you'll most likely find out that deep down, we're all the same and not so different from one another. 

• Your children need stability, you say? What is stability? Stability comes in different forms and for me, it's not the house you're living in or the town you've been raised in. In my opinion, the only stability my children need, is knowing that their parents love them unconditionally and will always be there for them, no matter what. They need routines? You can have routines anywhere. It doesn't matter if you're at home or in a bus halfway around the world. I can still have a structured day. You wake up, you have breakfast. You spend time with your children, have lunch and so on. I can read a bed-time story to my kids every night, no matter where I am. I think as long as your children feel safe and loved; they've got all the stability they need. 

• Seeing the world through the eyes of your children can be a real eye-opener. Sometimes, we don't even realize how beautiful a place is or how much fun an activity is, until you see the eyes of your child light up or listen to their excited giggles. Traveling with your kids, can definitely heighten the travel experience for you as an adult. 

• And last but not least, the most important advantage of long-term travel. The time you get to spend as a family is the biggest reward of all. Living in a small space and being on the road, will force you to stick close together and actually spend time together. It will create a strong bond with your kids. I remember loving vacation-time when I was a child. I was excited to go on holidays with my parents. They didn't have to work, we actually got to do things together, and I loved the attention and the things I got to see. I loved seeing my parents enjoying each other's company as well. They always seemed so much happier on a trip. Sadly we only got to experience this kind of life a few weeks of the year. I wish it could've been like that every day. You can't put a price-tag on family-time and unfortunately, the majority of families in our society are not getting to spend nearly as much time together as they should. 

Sitting here writing this post, I'm once again overcome by longing. God, I would love to pack our bags right now and take off for the unknown. The truth is, until we've caught up with bills and debts, there's simply no way we'd be able to pull it off. But one thing is certain. Someday in the near future, I am going to write a post, sitting in our bus with a huge smile on my face. I'm going to be happy, content and satisfied with what we have accomplished, and I'm going to enjoy watching the children experience the world.

No matter if we're selling our house, renting it out or simply travel for a few months here and there; it's going to happen. And just like my dream of becoming a published writer - which is going to be very real in just a few short months - this dream of being on the road is going to become a reality as well. Because if you want something bad enough, it will happen!