I've learned an important lesson in the last couple of weeks that I really wanted to share with you. I've written a blog post before about how patience is a virtue that doesn't come naturally to everyone and about the importance of positive thinking, and this is kind of a follow up. Those of you who have been following this blog for a while now, might know that we are kind of stuck at a point in our lives, where we would love to make changes (more travel, starting our own business, more time for the family..), but simply don't have the option right now because of financial reasons. So we've both been kind of frustrated and unhappy, because our life is simply not the way we've envisioned it, with me always being on my own with the kids and Adrian always working his butt off to make ends meet. In fact, we've been so focused on how to achieve our future goals, that we have completely lost sight of the here and now. We've also turned into a couple of miserable, whiney people and it has gone on for way too long.
Sometime a couple of weeks ago it finally hit me. I can't tell you what it was that showed me the light or why it hadn't struck me earlier, but I had a moment of clarity, and I finally just told myself, "ENOUGH!" Harden up, stop complaining, follow your own advice and start working on being happy. Stop trying to figure out how to make your dreams happen and focus on the present. Quit rushing through the tough times and make the best of the situation you're in. This IS your life right now and it's going to be your life for a while, so you better find a way to enjoy it. It's part of the journey after all. It's part of life and you should embrace the hard times just as much as the good.
I'm not saying, abandon your dreams altogether and stop planning for the future you want, because it is important to keep working towards your goals if you want to make a positive change. But you can't ignore the life you're living at this moment either. You can't make the future your sole focus, while the present is passing you by. It's not like our life is terrible either. We have a home we love. We have two perfect, beautiful, smart, and healthy children. We have each other. We have family and friends that love us. We're not sick or starving and we have clothes on our backs. And yet, with all the bad stuff going on in this world, with the refugee situation, sickness and war and all this pain and suffering, we still find reasons to complain about our great life on a regular basis. It felt like somebody finally had the guts to slap me across the face and told me to 'wake up'.
So why are we doing this? Why do we constantly have to remind ourselves that our life isn't as bad as we make it out to be? Why do we constantly have to tell ourselves that we've got so many things to be grateful for? Adrian and I both tend to get stuck in a rut, and we want so much for ourselves and for our children, we simply get frustrated when we can't make things happen right away. It feels like we're stuck in limbo, when we really just want to get there like ... yesterday. But just because we want a certain life in the future that better suits us and our wants and needs, doesn't mean that the life we're leading now can't be enjoyed. And our kids certainly don't care about that mommy and daddy want to make changes. As long as they're getting fed, get the attention they need and get to have fun everyday, they're good. As long as they are loved and cared for, their little world is alright. They're loving every second of it regardless. They're laughing and learning and playing every single day, and they find joy in every situation. We need to get back to that state of mind ourselves. Because if we can't be happy in this life, I doubt we'll be happy in any other. Happiness comes from within. Being happy is a choice.
There's always something you want, or some goal you want to reach, or some part of life you simply want to get through so you can be happier. When you've got a newborn and you're overwhelmed and sleep deprived, you tell yourself it'll get better once they're toddlers. When they're toddlers and they're having temper tantrums every half hour, you tell yourself it'll get easier once they're in school. When they're in school and you're back at work full time, and you're stressed out trying to juggle job and family, you tell yourself you only have to make it to your next vacation. After that you'll be more relaxed and things will go a lot smoother. You tell yourself you'll be happier with the next car, house, pet, or once that next goal is reached. But the truth of the matter is that each of those reached goals is bringing you one step closer to the end. So stop rushing through your life, just trying to make it to that next car, house, or vacation and start enjoying the journey rather than the destination.
Adrian and I have decided to quit all the whining and simply make some smaller changes to lift our spirits. The ones that don't cost much. Do little things that make us happy. For example, I attended my first hot yoga class and I will definitely start doing it on a regular basis from now on. It's only going to be an hour here and there, but it's something that I can do for myself - as Nina, not mommy - and it will give my body and mind a much needed boost. We simply want to stop rushing and live consciously. Teach our children that joy and happiness can be found anywhere, in every situation, even if the going is tough. Life is an adventure with constant ups and downs. No bad time lasts forever and neither do the good. But it's all part of the big picture and it could all end at any moment. Do yourself a favour and make the best of it!
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Are you having issues living in the moment? What are you doing to lift your spirits during tough times? Don't hesitate to comment and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.
